27 Enero 2012

This entry is one I would usually remove from my public blog. But, I want to remember that some days I feel this way…

It is funny how the inconveniencies feel so little when you are happy, healthy, and motivated.

Today, we are in festival still. Which means that there were marching bands until about midnight last night, then they started again early this morning. They won’t stop for about another 2 days.

Yesterday the city’s water was turned off for a while. Today, there is no electricity.

The lack of water, electricity and other inconveniencies used to be ok (and to be honest had a cool factor), and I could deal with them when I thought it was a financial thing. An impossibility thing for the community. But, now that I see it is possible, and it is due to a combination of greed and laziness that they don’t have these conveniences that I can’t deal with them. I am just angry. I sit on my bed and chant and chant and chant and I can’t get all the anger out. No electricity means no phone line. I can’t even call Tiffyn or Sky or my mother to talk it out and get some lovin. 

Eating. Bathing. Cleaning. Even sleeping and listening to my music is half impossible right now.

I can’t blame this community. They are cut of, generations of poverty. No wonder they themselves are depressed and unmotivated. I blame their government. Their greedy government. I blame my country. My greedy country. I can’t solve this community’s problems here. They are beyond them. All I can do is be hungry, tired, dirty, and plaster on a smile and dance around in the festival pretending everything is ok.