27 Abril 2012

So, Lu, what the heck have you been up to? Just sulking in the frustrations of development work?

Ha! No.

Here are some photos of the wawawasi (literally translated from quechua, that means house-wasi for babies-wawa, aka preschool) remodeling project I spent the better half of last week on with three French volunteers: Jullian, Paul, Maxim, and ‘el gatito’. I can take very little credit for how beautiful the wawawasi turned out.

I greatly enjoyed spending time with these fellers. You can check out their blog at www.bzhenamerica.blogspot.com to follow their 6-month, manly venture, from the Southern tip of South America to the Northern tip of Alaska.

Loan, (a lovely little French lady) has become a good friend of mine. Loan works for Steven and Mila and teaches French in Arequipa and Coporaque schools. She coordinated her city class to come and meet her rural class in a day of exchange activities today. A Swiss volunteer named Ana (who was also present at the Women’s Convention Peace Corps held last week) was very active in designing the day’s activities.

When the kids got off the bus they immediately assumed both Ana and I were French, like their teacher, and spoke to us in French. Because both Ana and I responded in decent-enough French we had the kids utterly confused when we switched back and forth between English and Spanish. I have to admit, it was quite entertaining. (Did I mention I am one of Loan’s pupils? Tri-lingualism, here we come!- this is attempt number two, quechua has utterly failed me.)

The most incredible feat of the day’s activities was that after icebreakers, the hike, the art activities, and scavenger hunt, I could no longer tell the rural kids from the urban ones. They actually integrated with one another, and re-cliqued! A thousand congratulations to Loan for accomplishing with these 10-year-olds what the rest of the world has yet to realize!

26 abril 2012 take two

We all have the potential to care. We all have the capability to not shit on each other. We all contain the capacity to do unbelievably amazing things for one another.

What is it about life and society that pulls so many to egocentricity at all costs?

“it is so easy to be callous. It takes courage and character to care.”

-Detachment

26 abril 2012

Mila, “Luz, if you are going to cancel the program, you need to make sure that everyone knows it wasn’t you taking the program away. That it was the Municipality that was at fault.”

Me, “Seriously? But, everyone knows what happened with the Municipality backing out on their commitment.”

Mila, “Right now they do, but after you go… in time, with talk, reality changes.”

I have been too much of a coward to work on the project in Madrigal.

Being there, knowing I have failed these kids, their hands reaching up to me to pick them up tortures me.

I have escaped to the comfort of my friends during the days in a neighboring town helping with projects here. Keeping myself busy and distracted with other work.

I told the women of the Madrigal community that it is in their hands now, I will be back on the project soon, but I need to see that the community is stepping up to the corruption without me, I can’t do it on my own.

This morning I got an ecstatic call from my host mother, “They said they want to do the program and they want to talk to you!!!”

Her voice so joyous, as if we won.  “Mamai, they are lying to make you think that they are going to do what it takes to make the program continue. Did they tell you they would pay their 30%? Did you see a contract?”

Silence

“Tell you what, I will call the mayor right now to set up a meeting to receive the contract.”

“yeah!” then I hear here cover up the phone and ask her husband, “Juan, did they say they would pay?”

Silence

I call the mayor’s cell phone to set up a meeting.

He doesn’t answer.

 I leave a message, “Good morning, Mr. Mayor. I wanted to set up a meeting with you and my bosses to discuss the VALE program options. They will be in the canyon the 22^nd or 23^rd of May. Please call me as soon as possible so that we can coordinate.”

25 Abril 2012

taken from the movie script of Detachment

spoken by an inner city high school English teacher in the US

“we all have problems, we all have things that we are dealing with.

Some days we are better than others.

Some days we are not so great.

Some days we have limited space for others.”

24 Abril 2012

Peace Corps is on the case.
The Youth Development Program Assistant Director (and perhaps with the Director) is making a special trip to Madrigal in 3 weeks to meet with the mayor.

I am ecstatic that Peace Corps is stepping up to support this project. Getting a representative from Head Quarter Offices will not only frighten the municipality a little, but they can communicate with knowledge about Peruvian law that I don't have.

She did tell me that it is not public knowledge what each district receives in their budget, and there is no way to trace what they spend the budget on in the months i have left (can you imagine a government run that way? no wonder there is so much corruption). She confirmed that a library is indeed an 'obra', and they almost defiantly do have the money, but must have some other 'plans' for it.  She is determined to figure out what that is with me.

Sweet and professional Miryam also counseled me on the paperwork she needs when I get there, and what people I need to get to sign a petition.

"Stay calm. You have handled everything perfectly to this point, these next few weeks are going to be very hard. Keep being patient and professional. We will be there as soon as we can."

23 Abril 2012

Well, the Municipality has officially backed out of the whopping $3,000 they promised the program.

Now, after we have interviewed and "hired" a teacher, i have to tell him he cannot start on the start date as there is no longer a position available for him.

what happened? i don't know.
last year they said they applied for the funding in their budget from the regional government and got it.
so all i can guess is that one of two things happened: 1. they never actually applied to get it in their budget, or 2. they got it and are pocketing the money

so, i ask them what we need to do to get the money and they are unwilling to play with numbers or divulge any information to me about their budget.
i explain that we will lose the program, they shrug, "it isn't that good anyways."
"excuse me? you do know your son has benefitted from the program and has improved in his classes at school leaps and bounds along with 80 other marigal youth, correct?"
a shrug. as if what i am saying is a lie, because when i show them the statistics i ran they can't even understand when i simplify that their children's improvement is significant.
a councilman, "but when the kids are in the library, they are walking around and talking. the program is very unorganized. if they were learning, they would be seated, silent, and sitting up straight."
i can't even respond to that. they know the program is designed around learning through play and art.


they tell me there just isn't enough money, they say they can't pay a salary of $300 a month for a year. I say "then tell me how much you can handle, and we will pay for less months. We will cut summer school so it is just the school year or something."
they say, "it is just that $300 a month is too much".
"if you want a professional, that is what you have to pay, that is starting wage. the option we have here is cutting the months to make up the money, not the wage."
"$300 a month is just too much."
ahhh! talking in circles.

"but it isn't, you have the money in the education budget because you applied for it and received it."
"you don't understand, srta. luz. 70% of that money has to go to an 'obra' like irrigation for the town or beautifying the plaza."
"but, mr. mayor, a library IS AN 'OBRA', and irrigation and beautifying the plaza is not education related."
obra means 'thing' like something physically constructed that you can touch
"no, you don't understand."

what i do understand is the mayor is wrong and lying at the same time.



how does one help children when their parents are so uneducated and stubborn?




now the options are

1) fight it, contact the departmental government to find out what happened with the money (hugely long process that i cannot possibly finish in the 4 months i have left... but i can try)

2) get an external donor to pay the salary, making the program not internally sustainable

3) cancel the program and move all the supplies and books to a neighboring town that is ready to receive and protect the materials with hired staff.




how do i feel about all of this? heartbroken a thousand times harder than i ever have been before.
I love these children with everything in me. I want everything for them.
my optimism for the world wains. my faith wavers. i feel weak.
I meditate and pray for compassion for these authorities.
these authorities who have never been educated and can't even understand what an opportunity they are missing.
these authorities who have not been loved healthfully by their own parents and don't know how to love their own children healthfully.


when the council members laugh at my passion for the project, when they laugh at my teaching methods i harden out of fury. but that quickly melts to complete and utter sadness that they don't understand how hard they have to work to get what they and their children need.
sadness that they don't understand that the teaching methods i use are different than what they know, but 50 years more advanced and better for learning.

perhaps they don't understand because when the children had presentations to show their parents what they had learned about 5 out of 160 parents showed up to see. you know what, those 5 were at a meeting yesterday protesting that the municipal government wasn't going to pay. they lost to the adults that don't have children living in madrigal, didn't see that their family would benefit directly from the program, and overpowered those 5 women/mothers into silence.


how can you make change for children from the bottom up if you can't motivate their parents to act for them? how can you break generational poverty if the children who contain the potential for change are never released from the grasp of their parents?

This year for my birthday, please don't bother sending me a package or money. Please donate to this project that 8 Peace Corps Volunteers, along with myself have been organizing. We have a lot of fund raising to do very quickly. Donating $83 makes you the sponsor of one youth's adventure in the program, and their experience possible. If you have any questions about the program, please do not hesitate to call or write me.

I love and miss you all! Thank you so much for contributing to making my work here so successful.


https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=527-115 

17 Abril 2012

This morning I cried while I ate my breakfast.

Why?

 I was able you use Croline and Rosie's beautiful kitchen to make myself a real cappuccino.

I used a French friend’s crepe recipe to modify my pancake recipe to make the most delicious pancakes I have ever eaten in my life.

My pancakes had real life maple syrup on them that my mother brought me from The States when she came to visit.

I was listening to music my brother gave me way-back-when.

And, I was reading a book Sarah sent me in the mail.

While I am sitting alone, in the middle of nowhere, so many people I love are surrounding me.

I got the phone call today:

“Hello Mr. Ruben. Talk to me...”

Mr. Perfect (Ruben), Mr. solve-all-of-madrigal’s-problems, Mr. music teacher/English teacher/after school program teacher/librarian, Mr. I-am-way-to-educated-to-want-to-live-in-a-village-like-madrigal-but-i-want-to-live-here-anyway;

After the interviews on Sunday, I offered him the position and told him to sleep on it and call me when he made his decision.

I was painting the pre-school with a group of French volunteers working for Steven and Mila, “Lu, yohrrr fone.”

“Hello Mr. Ruben. Talk to me...”

“I will take the position.”

15 Abril 2012

would you believe that one of the applicants is an accomplished musician that can teach music classes for the municipality?

would you believe that he has a large history of traveling and volunteering with his church?

would you believe that he is quadralinual (english, spanish, french, and korean) and can teach english classes for the high school?

would you believe that he not only wants the job, but all the people invited to interview think he is the answer to all our problems?

Hirma, "God always pulls through for us, doesn't he?"
"Yes, she does." i say

the pain in my breast hasn't let up, but i can breath again.

14 Abril 2012

a week ago we had 10 resumes sent to us to review for the position of VALE teacher and librarian.
a week ago the mayor choose a day and time to meet with the VALE committee to review the applicants and choose two or three to interview.
a week ago my committee and i show up to an empty mayor's office.
a week ago, standing in his empty office with his secretary, I call him. He begs forgiveness, very politely. He has no transport to Madrigal.
a week ago, I forgive the disrespect of him neither showing, nor letting me know he wouldn't be present.
I tell him that we will continue moving forward and select three of the ten applicants that fit his and our criteria.
a week ago, I ask him, "When would you like to interview them?"
he tells me, "Next Sunday, the 15th."




this week the applicants are invited and confirmed to come
this week I popped down to the municipality the night before the meeting to confirm time, place, and that everyone will be present.
this week, i am greeted by the secretary who says the mayor won't be in in time for the meeting, and non of the councilmen know about it.
this week i go to the councilman of education's house, and he tries to hide from me. When i tell his wife that i know he is there he comes out and says he might be able to come to the meeting if he can. I tell him that isn't good enough, he has to be there so a member of the municipality is present. If he can't be present, he needs to tell me right now who will be so i can confirm with them. He says not to worry, he, or the lieutenant mayor will be present.
I go to the lieutenant mayor's house and no one is home.
this week i go back to the municiple offices and ask the secretary to call the mayor, that i need to talk to him. She is kind, and sweet, calls him and passes me the phone.
this week i ask the mayor why everyone is skirting me? why hasn't he fulfilled his side of the deal and organized his co-workers? I have fulfilled my side, I need him to step up to his. I speak of trust and of the children that we are both working for.
this week he tells me that the high school english teacher quit, and the ministry of education isn't sending anyone else so the kids won't have a teacher. he tells me the money they allocated for the after school teacher might need to go to an english teacher for the high school.
"why didn't you tell me this, why are you all just running from me? It isn't fair for me to have called these applicants in to interview tomorrow morning if there isn't a position for them. It makes me and my organization look bad and irresponsible."
"Couldn't we just postpone the hiring of someone until we meet with parents and ask them what they want? A VALE teacher or an English teacher?"
"I am sorry Señor Mayor, but I have been asking you to handle those types of things since November of 2011. Now, I have to leave in 4 months. That is barely enough time to get someone through the paperwork and trained. I know you are trying to work with me for your kids here, but your lack of management skills are causing these kids to loose out. I am sorry I have to do this, but you either have someone present tomorrow for these interviews, or I am canceling the entire program and taking all of the supplies to another village that is more capable of helping their kids and wants me there. I can't have you skirting this for another 6 months."

my heart stops.
my right breast starts to ache like the child i never had is biting me with a mouth full of teeth.
why my stress chose to manifest in my breast instead of my stomach is beside me.
i dont breathe


I have to repeat my ultimatum about 4 more times to the mayor until he understands: I am done. I really can't make this program sustainable unless we more forward now, and I am not going to reward them with supplies if they can't show me the responsibility to protect and give their children access to them.

i speak clear, and strong. "you have to have someone present tomorrow, or VALE and the madrigal library is over. gone. thousands of dollars down the drain."

I am emotionally exhausted. my heart, my face, my lungs, my chest. everything about to explode.

An equally emotionally exhausted and quiet voice responds, "I will send an official mandate to the lieutenant mayor and councilman of education that they have to be present."

"thank you señor mayor. we will talk about other details when you get here. have a good evening and a safe journey back."

I pass the phone back to the secretary. she speaks to the mayor about the mandate, then confirms with me that she will deliver them. i believe her.
I shake the hand of the councilman of education who is downstairs and tell him about the mandate and smile and say, "see you tomorrow at 10:30am en punto, thank you sir."


my i am not relieved. there isn't a part of me that trusts these men. what i do trust is that the secretary will deliver the mandates, that is the only reason i left the office with the program not cancelled.
I go straight to Meche's. shaking, clutching my aching breast

"hug me"
no questions asked, i am engulfed in Meche. she rubs my back and says, "why are you grabbing your self like that? and she slaps my hand from my chest."

I fill her in. she says, "well here is to hoping someone shows up tomorrow. if they don't, you are right, we are done. can't carry this on our own... feel better now, sweetheart?"
"i do. see you at 10am my good friend."




15 Abril 2012

In the morning I walk down to the municipality at flag raising at 8am to confirm, again, that everyone will be there. The lieutenant mayor is not present, and the councilman of education turns his back to me to pretend i don't exist.
I walk right around him so I am in front of his face, "I wanted to confirm with you that you will be here today, en punto, at 1030am."
"If I can I will be here."
"You have to be there, not being there is not an option. Who will open the doors? Who will accept these applicants who have come to meet the administration. You are the Councilman of Education, this is your responsibility."
he backs away from me laughing, out of disrespect, "Sunday is my day off." He says shaking his head.
"I did not choose Sunday, your mayor did. I am here on MY Sunday too. Working for YOUR son. You do know Yamil comes to the library everyday, don't you?"
He shakes his head and walkes away from me.
I follow him to his house, his wife opens the door, I smile and step past her into their home. she knows me, she trusts me. "If you won't be present you need to give me the keys so I can recieve them into the Municiple offices, as promised by your mayor."
"I am not giving you anything without the Mayor's approval."
"Did you not get the mandate?"
"No, I got not mandate."
He is lying, "Then call the mayor, right now and find out if I am lying to you."
He steps up to me as if to intimidate me. His chest puffed up, pressing into my personal bubble, "No."
I lift my chin and put strength behind my voice, I raise my volume only slightly, "How can you disrespect me, after all I have done for your children, and everything I want to do for them. How on Earth can you be so disrespectful to anyone?"
He laughs at me.
This, is how they treat their women. Toys.

He raises his hand to push me out of his way, and I step aside before he can touch me and make it obvious I don't have him touching me. I look to his wife. She looks like a fully toothed infant might be biting her breast now.

I leave without saying the proper formal goodbyes.
I go to my gossipy host mother and tell her I am leaving Madrigal if the Municipality doesn't have anyone present for the interviews today, and I need her to tell everyone she knows that the Councilman of Education disrespected me for the last time today. I need her to make it public that I am being treated badly by the Municipality. I need the women to speak up for their children and start nagging the mayor and other members of the Municipality so they take action now. She nods like I have never seen her nod before. I can see her chatting with every woman she knows, getting them all behind this.

I go to Meche and Hirma, we debrief. If someone from the Municipality doesn't show up, we will march. Mothers and children. We we show the Mayor we want this.  The word starts to trickle around town, shop to shop, field to field.

I go to the lieutenant mayors house again. If we can avoid a racket, that would be a good thing. Darling Rita, his daughter, and faithful library attendee is there. She is 16-years-old, beautiful, and smart. She studies English diligently with me. "I need you to get this message to your father that we are canceling VALE if he doesn't show up today. Do you want VALE to continue?"
"yes!" reply wide eyes
"Then i need you to make sure he is present."
"of course!"


i dial the phone, "hello mr. mayor, I am sorry to tell you this, but I can't track down the lieutenant mayor and the councilman of education treated me very disrespectfully this morning. I am extremely upset with how your councilman treated me, and I want to make sure that you know that he told me he won't be present. if someone isn't there, i will cancel the program. I have done everything in my power to keep it alive, now I need you to act."
startled, concerned, and urgent he says, "someone will be there."


this morning at 10:15am the lieutenant mayor comes to my door.
"Good morning, Señorita. Sorry about the confusion. Are you ready to go interview?"

this morning the lieutenant mayor and i walk together, all smiles, to meet with the applicants