26 Enero 2012

 Upon arriving back in Madrigal after my trip to The States I expected a few things:

1)    a room completely covered in dust and dirt

2)    chickens out of the coop eating my garden and still underfed with no eggs

3)    weed-filled, chicken attacked or Sun-scorched garden

4)    a huge dog having grown out of our puppy

well, I scored about 50% on that test for this is what I found:

1)    a room not only covered completely in dust and dirt, but varmint droppings and dinner mess. It appears that it had oatmeal for breakfast every day and slept warm and cozy on my pillo that it also turned into a toilet

2)    the chickens were in the koop (woot!) and had just laid this morning. While they were indeed underfed and eating their eggs, they still had enough nourishment to lay. First step? Check! Not as bad as I anticipated

3)    a sincerely weed-filled garden. I can’t even tell the difference between weed and vegetable. Within the next few days we will be looking at the plan we drew up and trying to guess what is what.

4)    A dog, much more huge, grown up, and well mannered than I ever expected. She is not only no longer a puppy, but she is a sophisticated young adult. She knows the rules of the house. she will sit and watch them cut up and salt a sheep sniffing the air intently, but never coming close to the carcass; just waiting patiently for a toss of fat here and there. She remembers me like I never left. Today, I was working on the computer at my bed and she brought me a full piece of fat and laid it next to me on my blanket. This hungry dog carried me a whole piece of fat in her mouth and dropped it by my side, still whole. Then she sat and looked at me like, come-on stupid. I have never had an animal do this. I was stunned. Those stories people tell are true. I pretended to nibble some with my fingers, said thank you, and when I pulled my hand away from the disgusting lard. She did a little whatever shrug, stood up, ate the fat, and trotted away to go find more.

5)    So many community members expect me to have gifts from America for them. I am a little confused, as I have explained that I am poor too to them thousands of times. But, I have also not been to The States and back before. The gifts I brought back are for the people that don’t ask, the children- books, sweaters, and school supplies- almost all purchased by my family and friends and donated to the library project. Every times someone askes me what I brought back for them it fills be with the pangs of guilt. If only I could have packed something small and stupid and inexpensive. Anything, so they could say they got a gift from Srta. Luz from the US. But, you can’t do that for an entire community. And I hate that.

6)    The neighbor said Doña Juana cried in early January because she thought I was never coming back (I didn’t call them while I was in The States due to the expense). And then I got back, I was reprimanded for not calling, I handed out the family’s gifts and business went on as usual. They were trying to coax me to hike to the cows with them today, but I insisted on cleaning and making my living space habitable again.

7)    This place is disgusting. When I first moved here and saw the space, I remember being utterly disgusted. Doubting my ability to live here healthfully for two years. Then cleaning up my room and going on periodic rampades cleaning our shared bathroom (shit hole), the patio, their dishes, the spicket area that regularly overflows. Living here you get used to it. You manage with what you have. You clean as much as you can while still living a life that isn’t 100% cleaning up after other people. When I visite the states I  thought, “This is disgustingly steril” Then I get back here and I think, “this is disgustingly overly disgusting.”