27 Junio 2010

We went into Lima yesterday. After a speedy walking tour of the city with our language instructors we were given (what i have to say were) poor directions on how to return ourselves to Chaclacayo. We all then dispersed into the depths of the city (but not too deep, that's just dangerous).

My new nearest and dearest friend, Libby, and I brok off with one of the other volunteers named Marina. She had friends that live in Lima dn we got to enjoy the sights with Peruvian peers. This we accepted with great pleasure. However, I almost feel like I wish I hadn't. there is something about the lifestly we have been living the past couple weeks that prevents me from enjoying the comfort and excess that is the big city. While I truly enjoyed the cheese and greasy pizza (anything but rice and potato) we paid dearly for the pleasure. I had saved my week's stipend, and spent 7/10 of it on that pizza. Sitting there, and seeing the money go that could have supported me for one more entire week in my rural town made me ache. Teetering on the scale of enjoying the flavor and sensation of a satisfied belly and ignoring the pangs of guilt, I walked away utterly torn.
What was more uncomfortable was to see the look in the eyes of my Limanean peers when we explained the cold showers and starchy diet. Only an hour away from their lovely little apartments we and families live in this real poverty. The funny part is that some of these families CHOOSE to be here. Some of them have left the city and prefer this much more simplistic, enjoyable lifestyle. Peruvians, I think, above all, want to ejoy life. They have pride, but tend not to be so bogged down by needing to present wealth, more beauty and hygiene. They present themselves, but at no expense to fun.

My mental stability has been jolted a little with this remembrance of "the other life".

My mind struggles with the idea of longing for this lifestyle, but refusing to be a "housewife". Desire to enjoy the simplicity and entertainment that is living in a city.

p.s. Lima is depressing
the sky is very love and heavy in it's cold mist
paired with the short, dully painted 60s buildings
and decorated colonial buildings falling apart
it made me feel claustrophobic.

and to top it off, where the buildings walls meet the street they are greeted with mounds of litter.