This morning's jog was not quite as successful as the previous day's because we took another path that ended before we reached the top of the cerra. But, we ran in some circles to get the day's blood pumping and any doubt for the success of the day was forgotten.
This evening I attended Mass with my house mom which I enjoyed very much. Connecting spiritually with someone you have trouble communicating with vocally has a beauty all its own. The familiar patterns of Christian orations and songs bring me to dear thoughts of my family and neighborhood. For this, I will always appreciate Christianity. In a time when i feel light years away from anything familiar, all I need is to step into the church a block away from anything to be shuttled to a place of comfort.
When I was in cuba with my mother, we listened to our first sermon spoken in Spanish for Christmas. The minister spoke of a candle light that is in all of us, no matter the religion or location, that connects us all. Looking at the candles and the church tonight, and listening to softly spoken Spanish sermon brought e back there tonight. When you look at a candle and let your eyes relax, the flame seems to grow as if to engulf the room and yourself. The longer you relax, the larger it grows, encompassing your visual field. This light is the Jesus or mystic energy that connects us all. Once we relax and accept it, its beauty will not only illuminate all that we see, but it will also embrace us.
I was thinking about my time in Austin today. I know the young woman that entered that city was vastly different from the woman who left from it. It was quite possibly the metamorphosis of my life. Now, I feel like not only have my roots soaked up all they could from the soil there. But, I have lost excess water weight as my roots dried and can tumble confidently and comfortably where the wind blows me. Yet, I feel like a part of me exploded all over that town. Not only do all my old belongings riddle the houses of friends and strangers throughout the community, but I encountered so many differing people that pulled my core to the surface exposing who I truly am.
Thank you, Austin.
Lu, reading this (and the rest of your blog) makes me tear up. It makes me very happy to read about your new life in a place that sounds so familiar to me, though I've never been. I feel suddenly reacquainted with the world-changing feelings I felt while living in Central America four years ago, and it excites to me to read about your journey, at this very moment, so much deeper into that life than I have yet gone. It's pretty neat and kinda curious to think of the Lu I was just walking around Powell's with/standing next to a backyard campfire with just a few weeks ago, rediscovering herself in such a distant world.
ReplyDeleteI am also overwhelmed by feelings of love for the people I exploded all over while in Austin, like you. It's kind of amazing how deeply memories of that life tug at my soul.
I love you, I miss you, and I am going to write you soon. Is your current address still the one you gave me?
still waiting for your letter and missing you dearly.
ReplyDeletei love you, aaron