While I have more enjoyable that unenjoyable able days, I have to admit that even during in this transition stage, the "slightly more difficult" living before the "truly difficult" living, some days are rough. either frustrations with my physical discomfort, frustrations with co-workers, seeing hardships I cannot change, or just down right feeling lonely and needing a hug; some days are a struggle to get through
I feel my energy wane briefly those days. I feel my heart fold and deepen. i notice my thoughts migrating to greed, distain, narcisism, and exhaustion. Fortunately these brief thoughts are greeted with optimism and joy that trumps all. i chant myself to sleep and know "I'll recover my grace in the morning."
phosphorescent
"in the darkness
after the lights
i miss you
more than ever
and to color my eyes into rose
and to ask of my beaten bones
to be less of meat and stone
and more of feather
but lord they're rolling me away
ain't they rolling me away
don't they roll oh oh oh
...and lord i truly am awake
and lord truly i am afraid
and lord truly i remain
... in the darkness
after the lights
i miss you
with no warning
i will recover my sense of grace
and rediscover my rightful place
yes and cover my face
with the morning"
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