“Never let myself love like that again.”
I have allowed so much of this Peace Corps experience to mold who I am. I honed in on the attributes I wanted to hold on to dearly (optimism, motivation, etc), and allowed the less defining qualities to self-modify.
Bertrand Russel said something about fools and fanatics being sure of themselves, and the wiser [human] full of doubts. By that logic I would be unbelievably wise. So why is it that my openness and curiosity have hurt me at this point? In an attempt to understand and accept I have been punched in the gut repeatedly. It isn’t weakness that allowed me to return to the punches, but a strength and longing to conquer it. Apparently the unwillingness to punch back lost this 6 month war.
Relieved that I will no longer have an upset stomach or need to question the sincerity of my partner I step again into the world of singledom and independence.
“Yeah, I know that I was warned. Still it was not what I hoped.”
Today I am workshopping with the teachers again. Today, we apply more what we have learned together. In other words, we are playing games all day. Practicing incorporating nonformal-ed into the classroom and playing! Time to put on the heals and be professional ☺.
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