As I was boarded back on the bus from Arequipa to Madrigal, something was pulling me. While every minute at the beach was inexplicably enjoyable, and I know it’s magnetism will pull me back there again, right now, Madrigal is where I belong. On the breach/beach, keeping my brain in a relaxed state was a challenge and a game. Hiding notes and calendars from myself to keep the worry out of my mind were my only successful tactics. I don’t know how many times Tiffyn had to say to me with exasperated and bored eyes knowing the answer to her question, “Are you talking about work again?”
Above the crappy, dirty lifestyle, this work is all I am right now. And while it is slow going, it is all I can be and do. There is no questioning it. La pituca knows she is not perfect, and I might whine and fight it sometimes. But here I am, and here I will keep coming back until I can feel I have offered all that I can, even if that offering is nothing like I expected it to be when I moved here.
People tell me the lifestyle we live here is hard, dirty, unhealthy, etc. But, because I identify with it, because I feel I belong here right now, the things that would bother others, don´t get to me. I feel better here. This is me.
Now, I sit with my head resting/bouncing in the empty seat next to me, my buttocks in my seat, and my heals in the air resting on the dirty window that only has ample stars to show me.
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