18 Septiembre 2011 take two

18 Septiembre 2011 take two

Grandma, please stop reading this entry now.

Just shortly after boarding the bus from Arequipa to Madrigal the driver demonstrated to me his ability to make my nerves active. This, is nothing unusual in South America, as I come to find 9 in 10 do so. If this had been my first trip to Madrigal, I would have been frightened, but this trip having become such a habitual necessity, has normalized my emotions and no longer creates stress in my system every time I journey into the city.

“At least we will get there in shorter time than usual.” I rationalized to myself to bury any doubt that might still have been living.

Five hours in, as we are passing through a town about an hour away from my own, comfort of home begins to find refuge in my heart and mind. I can feel the closeness to home, my family and friends here and the warmth of my pale yellow room mocks me being so close an yet so far still when the bus breaks slam and we begin to slide.

Somehow, a thousand things happened in that second.

I am genuinely scared at first, and then quickly reprimand myself for always being so paranoid. I often find things in these peoples’ lives that scare me that they know to be everyday life.

Then, the air vanishes as everyone on the bus gasps in unison. The back of the bus feels heavier than the front and looks like it is gaining on us as the nose of the bus tips downward at the edge of the canyon.

My thoughts immediately go to Doña Juana and the images of her tumbling in the bus accident last year that killed 12.These images that have haunted my mind for months place her, in the front of this bus today, and preminisce tumbling.

The sound of womens´ vocal chords behind the unified gasps sends me a message of sincere communal anxiety and my heart stiffens almost into a protective state.

Are my arms long enough to pin us all down if we flip?

Do I have time to find some sort of seat belt?

Don’t let your head hit the window.

Then the bus stops

 and an energy shifts in a millisecond to shared solace. There is almost the buzz of laughter in the air. The risible energy quickly revises to anger as everyone glares through the wall, at the driver we can’t see.

Obviously shaken he reverses, gets us straight, and continues cautiously… for about 10 minutes.