They say that Peace Corps is riddled with life changing realizations.
Some you can predict: cold showers are something you will just never get used to, or that you really aren’t as tough as you thought you were.
Some are less predicable: like, who knew I have a strong distaste for alfalfa? Or, that I really am content alone for hours in a room with nothing but a book and my gohonzon, I don’t need tobe going a thousand miles an hour all the time.
I had a life-changing realization this week that brought me to tears more than once.
It was the first time in service that giving up floated through my mind, and it wasn’t because I didn’t think I could do it, it was because my hands were tied.
When I set out to climb an impossible mountain, I set my goal for the top. Even if I am told that I can only make it to 5,000 feet on this particular mountain, I set my eyes for the peak. Then, if I have to stop at 7,000 feet I am satisfied. I know I did the best that could be done. Even if I have to stop at 5,000 I know I have my all. I need to be sure to surround myself with people who function this way.
If I am working with someone who knows that only 5,000 feet can be reached, and doesn’t want to not enjoy themself and sets the goal for 4,000 feet I am probably going to have a nervous breakdown. It is only one climb, one week that you will remember forever. I say give it your all, endanger yourself a little bit for the beauty of the story and the richness of the experience. Especially, if you are doing good for the mountain on your journey.
Life changing realization: make sure you are volunteering with people who aim for the top, even when they know it might not be possible. It isn’t that I don’t respect those who take care of themselves, that truly is the smart thing to do. It just isn’t really me. Even though it is stupid, and me breaking my own back 5 years ago is proof of that, it is who I am, who I forever want to be, and how I accomplish the biggest successes in my life.
There have been multiple points in my life when my naivety and optimism have been put on trial. And each time, I refuse to become bitter. I grab a tighter hold of the impossible. I am going to keep my grasp firm as long as I possibly can. I have the utmost respect for those who protect themselves and those around them, I need them around me to keep me healthy every once in a while. But don’t you dare try to keep me down when I am up.
Especially don't mess with me when I am teaching
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