10 Septiembre 2011 take two

After our one year med checks and in-service training we were given letters we wrote to ourselves a year ago. I thought I would share it with you…

“I hope with all my heart that you are healthy and falling in love with Madrigal. I hope that you have come to identify with the town as your town. I wish you could tell me the projects to throw all my energy into. Right now, I am scared and oh so excited all at the same time. Scared about food, bathing, comfort, and the unexpected. Will I be able to come to eat and enjoy the food? Will I feel good bathing only once a week? Will my motivation and positive energy dampen when I am not living in comfort?

Don’t forget that you want this oh, so much. You belong here. You want this organic lifestyle. You want to get in touch with the Earth. You want to more-than-know this culture, you want ot feel it. You earned the right to live in this.

I wish you could tell me what you have already learned. I am sure you are already becoming someone I admire today. Keep up the strong, motivated work.

Remember, you are loved. There are literally hundreds of people that want you to do well and will give you all the support they have any day of the week, any time of day.  You are so lucky.

Love every minute of this.

Feel the sadness

Feel the weakness

Feel the strength

Feel the joy.”

Reading this excited, clueless Peace Corps Trainee’s positive words threw me into her mind again.

Dear lu,

I am happy, and healthy, and very much in love with Madrigal. Yes, this town is a part of me now, and will forever be. I actually don’t know how I will leave it in 10 months.
Don’t doubt yourself with projects. The things bubbling in your mind today: keep them simmering, they will be your most successful projects.

You are rightfully afraid about food, bathing, and comfort. You are going to be uncomfortable, dirty, smelly, and hungry; but you will get used to it. You will not get used to their flavorless, starchy food. But, you will learn to use the accessible ingredients to create things you enjoy. What you don’ t know is how much you will miss art and how much that will effect your daily life and your mood. Your motivation and positive energy comes from meditation and creativity. Balancing the chores of everyday life and your program responsibilities doesn’t leave you much time for art and chanting, so yes, your optimism will wax and wane. But, you will make it through stronger for it.

I have gotten in touch with the Earth. You would never guess, but now you can raise all your own food as needed; Animal and plant. This will be a part of your life forever. You don’t know everything, and still might have a bit of a black thumb, but that biggest step has been taken and you now know how to get yourself started.

Let me tell ya, I feel that weakness, sadness, strength, and joy. All of them. All the time.

But, you were right, I belong here. I have a strong love for this lifestyle, and eat up every minute of learning. I can only hope that I am becoming the woman you want me to be.