29 Junio 2010

Trying to emulsify into this community and culture I have felt a loss of a sense of self and therefore have needed to do some soul searching.

it is funny how one needs to re explore how they want to present themselves to every new community they move into. what dress and language is most representative of how they want to be perceived? last week I started to feel a little lost. With only a week's worth of clothing and feeling like I was "putting on a show" to be what I thought a PC volunteer was suppose to be, i lost a bit of my goofy, individualistic self.

well, ladies and gentlemen, having come to know this culture a little better and how my actions, dress, and language will be perceived, I have found her.

under some feathers and leather here she is :-)
This is one of the girls in my youth group

estatisticas

of the Peruvian population

7.4% have no education at all
23% complete primary school and drop out
38% complete secondary school and drop out
31% complete some sort of "superior" education or University

28 Junio 2010

Today we hiked Palacala Mountain in San Jerome del Surco.
3 hour hike up
2 hour hike back down

exhaustingly beautiful

This
is the essence of what brings me joy. Hiking around the burros (donkeys) and their shit up rock filled slopes by day for majestic views and crisp sweet mountain stream water greetings. The utter exhaustion of straight up for hours is as warm as my blood can become here in the heart of winter. I will allow the images to speak for themselves.




















I have come to begun praying for a horse or donkey at site. How much joy it would bring me to car for an animal that could help me do work. I cannot wait for tomorrow to come. I love it here.





There have been some severely personal challenges those in the community have faced in their own lives since i have been here. In my usual nature, like a burrio pile on the weight and carry it. And, I think I manage to carry it far lighter than they would. Perhaps the school mascopt of the longhorn was suiting in it's representation of myself.

It is amazin how in these short weeks so much of my past has come to not matter so much.
Some of that music
Some of those clothes
Some of those bottles of wine
even Some of those meals

They are peripheral and irrelevant in this world

28 Junio 2010

I really don't think i will ever get used to cold showers

Whilte I may come to appreciate a shower for waht is it worth, the dread of that cold water is still alive, and the jump in is just as shocking.

27 Junio 2010

We went into Lima yesterday. After a speedy walking tour of the city with our language instructors we were given (what i have to say were) poor directions on how to return ourselves to Chaclacayo. We all then dispersed into the depths of the city (but not too deep, that's just dangerous).

My new nearest and dearest friend, Libby, and I brok off with one of the other volunteers named Marina. She had friends that live in Lima dn we got to enjoy the sights with Peruvian peers. This we accepted with great pleasure. However, I almost feel like I wish I hadn't. there is something about the lifestly we have been living the past couple weeks that prevents me from enjoying the comfort and excess that is the big city. While I truly enjoyed the cheese and greasy pizza (anything but rice and potato) we paid dearly for the pleasure. I had saved my week's stipend, and spent 7/10 of it on that pizza. Sitting there, and seeing the money go that could have supported me for one more entire week in my rural town made me ache. Teetering on the scale of enjoying the flavor and sensation of a satisfied belly and ignoring the pangs of guilt, I walked away utterly torn.
What was more uncomfortable was to see the look in the eyes of my Limanean peers when we explained the cold showers and starchy diet. Only an hour away from their lovely little apartments we and families live in this real poverty. The funny part is that some of these families CHOOSE to be here. Some of them have left the city and prefer this much more simplistic, enjoyable lifestyle. Peruvians, I think, above all, want to ejoy life. They have pride, but tend not to be so bogged down by needing to present wealth, more beauty and hygiene. They present themselves, but at no expense to fun.

My mental stability has been jolted a little with this remembrance of "the other life".

My mind struggles with the idea of longing for this lifestyle, but refusing to be a "housewife". Desire to enjoy the simplicity and entertainment that is living in a city.

p.s. Lima is depressing
the sky is very love and heavy in it's cold mist
paired with the short, dully painted 60s buildings
and decorated colonial buildings falling apart
it made me feel claustrophobic.

and to top it off, where the buildings walls meet the street they are greeted with mounds of litter.

26 Junio 2010

All of me belongs here


Beautiful full moon tonight
funny how my view of the the moon here is at a 180degree angle from what those that I love see in the northern hemisphere. not even the sky connects us.