I don’t think anyone would hesitate to say that I am a passionate person.
And when they say that, I think what they are intending to imply is, “she gets real mad when people mess with the potentially successful”.
I have been searching for ways to be less mentally clouded when projects are threatened. I am of no use to the project if my head is steaming and blurring my vision of the past and present. But how? I feel like such a child. I close my mouth and say nothing until the smoke passes, then act. It would be so much easier and useful if I could react with clarity in the moment.
I read Greg Mortenson’s book to see if the frustrations of bringing education to the impoverished got to him, and how he managed it. I basically learned it did get to him, and he didn’t know how to manage it. But, due to the nature of our work, somehow, it works out. A wealthy donor leaves an envelop in the back of an empty lecture hall, a responsible community member shows some leadership when you are not around, etc. That seems to be the trend across the board.
So, who do I turn to to try and find my peace in knowing it will work out purely due to the nature of the work? Mother Teresa. I am defining faith here. “peace in knowing”. It doesn’t have to be in a god or deity (though it can be), but just carrying peace in knowing. My anger comes from fear and a lack of faith in myself and/or the communities I am working in. Just doubting for a second sends energy that is destructive. I, and my fellow volunteers, am experienced now. We have a wisdom we didn’t carry a year ago and it is apparent in our nature and our work. To be at peace when challenges show themselves is to have faith in that wisdom and the work itself.
Though many try to keep me safe, and watch my back by reminding me to keep my visions realistic, I would prefer to stick to my friend Javier’s words, “haz lo. Salta la increabilidad”.
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